raramomtoo3

Well hello dear readers….yes it is really me….live from my local hospital.  So here is the plan readers I want out of here.  So I need one of you to bake a cake with a file in it and someone else to dress up in a gorilla costume and deliver it to me.  I am in room 347 I think.  So as you know I have been sick for the last week.  I fought and fought it but the crap beat me again.  So here I am with MRSA again.  A nasty little staph infection as took over my body for the 6^th time.  I am what they call a MRSA carrier.  I have the germs just floating freely through my body.  Keep in mind my body is like 300 pounds so I assume it is like Disney World for germs.  This is the second time I have had a “retreat” at the hospital.  So I am here again.  After a wait in the ER yesterday they decided I needed to have IV antibiotics.  I am waiting for the doctor to come see me.  I have the fantasy that the door will swing open and the nurses will be dressed up in showgirl outfits and they come in singing like a Broadway show.  The doctor swings in and dressed like Elvis singing “Rachel Rachel my love you can go hoooommmmmeeee”. Yep don’t see it happening but it is funny in my head to think about it.  My daughter was supposed to blog for me last night so I will have to see what she wrote.  I might let her write it every day. So me and food still not playing well together.  I get some nice shots to help with it here so that makes big differences.  My pain shots aren’t really working but I hate the thought of being label “drug seeker” I am trying not to complain.  Yes I know I should but I don’t have it in me.  I hate to cause trouble or be a pain in a butt (yes I know you guys know the truth).  All fun a side readers I am extremely stressed.  I am missing work while I am here.  So the already “scarce” Christmas will now be “scar” and if I don’t go home tomorrow “sc”.  So please pray my dear readers that the money angels or the “let her out of hospital” angels will smile down on me today.

Hello fellow readers of my mom’s blog.

My name is Jasmine and I’m writing for my mother today.
I am sorry to announce that your writer is currently in the hospital.
She doesn’t know how long she’ll be in there, but hopefully not very long.
She’ll be back to boring you soon enough.

So, it is my job to bore you with something.
Did anyone hear about what Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson named their baby?
They seriously named their little boy Bronx Mowgli Wentz!
Sigh, but whatever.
Gerard Way and his wife Lindsey are having a baby.
That’s really good, sort of sad that it was with her, but he’s happy and being the true fan I am, if he’s happy I’m happy.
Well, I think I’m done now so I’ll go.

Check out my stories on Mibba, FragileFutileFuture.Alright, well, I’m out.Peace and Love,

Jazz
~FFF

Well Happy Black Friday to all of you brave and strong men and women who went to Wal-Mart at midnight to wait in lines.  Ok now if I hadn’t had to work and wasn’t sick as a dog I would be out there fighting the crowds.  So my weeks of planning and spying on GottaDeal.com have produced nothing.  I hate being sick and poor.  The only reason I am willing to risk bodily harm at Wal-Mart is the fact we are POOR (heck we are so poor we are just Po).  I am scraping and hoarding my pennies to buy my kids Christmas presents this year.  I would take on anyone if it meant my children would smile on Christmas morning.  It doesn’t really matter not only did I have to work, had no money and I am still sick.  Yes my dear readers I am still feeling bad.  I was so pissed off yesterday.  I wait for Thanksgiving to roll around every year so I can EAT without people giving you the “look” has if you are an animal who just had a prize kill.  Everyone young and old over eats on Thanksgiving it is our right as an American to indulge ourselves.  Heck I am sure even super models enjoy their Thanksgiving dinners buy getting 1 ounce portions of the food instead of only a bite.  So as you know I have been sick for a few days.  My kids did my cooking so on so forth.  We sit down at the table and IT hits.  You know when your brain has just received a warning of “backup” coming from the mid section.  It is like an Alabamian road crew nobody knows who is going where and they just stand there and look busy.  So I got a very small portion of the stuff and for a fat chick this was devastating.  I couldn’t even finish that.  I was pissed.  Yes I know there are some skinny people out there who would say “It wouldn’t kill you to not eat”.  To those people I want to say “No you are right it won’t kill me but it MIGHT kill you if I find where you live”.  You guys know who I am talking about.  The size 0 twit who acts as a security guard at Victoria’s Secret.  She meets you at the door with a fake smile and her head bobbing like a bobble head.  I expect at any given second she will politely say “I am soooo sorrrrryyyyy but we don’t allow loitering”.    She assumes that because I am a fluffy woman that I don’t want sexy underwear or heck even their shampoos.  How can you be too fat for shampoo and body wash?  I would think they would want us fat chicks to use their body wash considering it takes TWICE the amount for us to use.  Back to the twit at the front door she looks around making sure that none of the other stores saw the fat chick in HER store.  Now I understand Victoria’s “ Secret” is this crazy woman has never eaten.  So in my line of thinking is that at the Lane Bryan store they should have a beautiful size22 cashier who gives the same line about loitering to anyone below a size 16 who comes in to just “look around”.  My fellow fluffy friends this rant is for you.  I pray that we will live in a world where WE can know Victoria’s secret and people will understand that FAT women like sexy underwear too.  We like lacy things and MATCHING underwear.  My wardrobe consists of Hanes Her Way granny panties and tan bras that I have washed too much.  I would like black bras and black panties.  I can’t wait for the day that EVERYONE (big, little,young,old,women,drag queens) can walk into Victoria’s Secret with our heads held high and our credit cards ready to burn.  Ok I think the Loratab is kicking in.  So I will stop ranting for now but I am praying the “fat” angels are smiling down on us today……..

Well Happy Thanksgiving my dear friends.  I hope you are with your family and friends and being thankful for all of them.  I am still sick and laid up in the bed.  I have managed to at least work but by the time I come home I am drained and in pain to the point of passing out.  I will say this though the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade is really COOL when you have taken a Loratab.  I have been a bad mommy today.  I have had to put my cooking off on my wee ones.  So I have my husband doing the Turkey and Rolls and potatoes.  My son is doing the dressing and my youngest is doing the green bean casserole.  My oldest daughter is hiding from me because she is afraid I will find her something to make.  Oops my husband just found her something to do and I feel a storm a brewing.  I have often wondered do other families have the same drama and chaos as our family.  Do other families have a moody, emo and dramatic 12 year olds?  How about 10 year old son who has had an attitude for the last month to the point I am buying him handcuffs and a gag ball.  What about a seven year old who has no patience?  Or an annoying husband who is insisting that I go BACK to the ER tomorrow.  I refuse to go back to the ER.  It takes forever and they never really do anything to help me.  Like I said they cut me yesterday and sent me home with prescription for pain pills but NO pain pills. By the time I made it home I almost passed out from the pain.  So that brings us back to watching the parade while on pain meds.  I wanted to take a moment before I let you go to enjoy your Thanksgiving day and your family.  I am very thankful for so many people in my life.  I have three wonderful children (yes I know I rant about them but they are my life).

I am thankful for my husband who has been with me in sickness and health (a lot of that has been going around lately).  I am thankful for my parents and what they did for me.  I am also thankful my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law and all my friends and family.  However, my dear friends I am thankful that God is granting me the strength to get through another holiday without my brother.  Justin is missed every day but on the holidays it is so much worse.  So I miss you Justin Happy Thanksgiving to you and all of our loved ones up there waiting for us.  What are you thankful for dear readers?  So I am praying that the “Thanksgiving” angels are smiling down on all of us today…..

Well happy Thanksgiving Eve to you my dear readers.  This will be a short blog today my friends.  I am in a lot of pain dear readers.  I have been getting sick and it finally has taken over.  I had a nice visit to the ER this morning and let’s just say it involved a scalpel and leave it at that.  I am sick out of my head but wanted to check on you and your Thanksgiving preparations.  I hope you are getting help with the cooking and day dreaming about Pumpkin Pies and Turkey breasts.  So I will check back in tomorrow to see how your special day is going.  So I pray the “cooking” angels are smiling down on you and the “pain pill” angels are smiling on me today. Happy Thanksgiving Eve my friends.

Well goooooddddd evvvvvvennnning.  It tis I the southern mom with no good sense.  I am pulling a graveyard shift due to the lack of intelligence on someone’s part but I shall not mention any names.  So while I am writing this I wonder why they call it the graveyard shift. I assume that it has to do with a grave yard.  I am thinking that people had to watch the graves in case someone wasn’t dead and they rang the bell (yes this I have looked up).  Anyway let’s stop calling it that shall we?  So here I am sick and tired and tired of being sick.  I slept all afternoon and before I knew it I had to get up and piss and groan about it.  So my game plan was to seat here on my laptop and surf the world wide web and cannot remember for the life of me what I wanted to surf too.  So I guess I will bore you readers and go blog on other things and try my best not to close my eyes because if I do I am OUT LIKE A LIGHT.  So it is Tuesday now and it feels like I have been here for HOURS and it has only been two.  My dear friend Gina felt bad for me and stayed to show me how to do the audit tonight.  It went easy and she has headed home to sleep.  I have only seen one guy tonight and he wanted to write me a check.  All I could think of was Jeff Foxworthy show when the repo guy came to get his truck.  The repo guys says “can’t you write me a check”.  Jeff waits a second “CHECK….Hell ya I can write you a check I thought you needed money”.  So he went to “talk” to his wife and they hauled ass to another motel but I don’t think anyone takes checks anymore.   It didn’t hurt my feelings any but God forbid my boss watch him leave she will think I let him leave because I have no CLUE how to check them in.  Regarding my earlier rant about doing that very thing.  I PROMISE IT WASN’T ME.

So I am wondering too exactly I agreed to while medicated and trying to sleep.  I think my oldest daughter had me sign permission slip, give her money for a talent show and asked if her friend can spend the night tomorrow.  Now readers you to only talk to me once when I am medicated on my crazy meds and my sleep meds I have no clue who I am much less answer questions that could hold up in the court room.  I didn’t wake up to  pee the whole time I was down and of course stumbled and collapse on the toilet and sit there for ten minutes trying to remember what I was in there for.  My kids have learned this trick and will use it to their advantage and never think twice about it.  So I dread to what I come home to tomorrow.  I am sure the chores won’t be done because “Mom said we didn’t have to do them”.  I will come to only a dollar to my name which is supposed to be the amount she took and a keg party with all of the middle school invited.  What drives me crazy is my husband is not a good lawyer or security guard because he doesn’t stop them for asking me crap. By the way the tree still IS NOT UP.  I am losing patience and might drag it out tomorrow and blame it on exhaustion.  Well dear readers I am sure you are bored of this southern mom’s drama of daily living.  May the sleeping angels smile down on you today…

Hey there my dear friends I hope you are doing well on this Monday.  I am supposed to be sleeping because I am pulling a third shift tonight.  This will suck because my body is not a night body (well not really a day body either).  I worked third shift for years but have since moved to breakfast hostess.  I am getting lucky though  was going to have to work tomorrow night too but angels of fate smiled down so I am a tad bit happier.  So how goes your Thanksgiving dinner plans?  I plan to do my share of the cooking on Wednesday and my husband can do his Thursday morning.  I have to work the morning of Thanksgiving so I am a tad bit down.  I will miss the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  I know I know I am 31 years old but I still love to watch it.  My complaint is I hate the “the so and so float up next and 45 minutes later is show.  Still I love to watch it with my kids.  We aren’t having a lot of company on Thanksgiving Day because we are having the family dinner on Saturday.  Holidays have become a game show on “Who Are You Eating Dinner with Today?”  The first contestant on today’s show is Rachel Bryant.  Now, Rachel spins the wheel of fate and sees where she will have dinner with on Thanksgiving.  Of course I always get the runner up prize.  So we have a schedule planned and ready to go for this year.  However for future dinners I will need to reserve my family ahead of time.  As of right now our family is free for next year but we are booking fast. 

I am being crazy.  I am all alone in the house and in the bedroom trying to get sleepy so I am watching A Haunting.  Now I know most of you know I am a ghost hunter and I live for this kind of thing but I am freaking myself out watching this show in the dark.  I think it is because my brain isn’t firing on all four cylinders.  I am getting sick again I am afraid.  It really sucks and last time I had a nice visit in the hospital so I am praying this isn’t going to be the case this time.  So dear readers I hope you Monday goes well and Tuesday will be a better day.  May the Monday Angel’s smile down on you today…..

I hope you are enjoying your Sunday.  I have served my time at my job for the day.  So here I am in pain.  Last New Year’s Eve I had a tad too much to drink and I decided I could line dance.  Let me warn you I am a heavy set woman and I have NO business doing any kind of dance.  Around midnight during a line dance in progress all of a sudden my knee gives out.  I wore a brace for four months and it had gotten better till this week.  I am convinced I am suffering from sympathy pains.  My husband’s knee is of course hurting.  I also have the bruises that show up out of nowhere and I have no clue how I get them.  I noticed the other day that my son has the same bruises and the exact same spots.  It is starting to creep me out.  I told him to stop getting hurt because I was bruising for him too.  So I am laid up in the bed.  I plan to spend a lot of time in bed the next few days.  I have to work tomorrow morning 4:00 am till 10:00pm doing my breakfast shift.  Then I have to come home and sleep and go back into work 11:00pm till 10:00 am.  I am working third shift on the front desk.  I have NO clue what to do since we got a new computer system.  So I am a little worried so I have a plan.  I will either quote them a HIGH rate so they will go to next motel or just hide behind the desk.  Now, that is a site to see me and my big rear end on the floor with a bad knee and trying to hide.   It is only for two nights but I will be working seven days a week till after Christmas so I might get a tad Grinch but I will try not take it out on you so don’t worry.  So at some point this week I have to do some cooking for Thanksgiving but not sure when I can slip it in.  I normally do my cooking on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving but I am pulling another 13 hour shift Tuesday night into Wednesday morning.  Lord only knows how the cooking will turn out. As you have read I am not much of a cook as it is but I will try it anyway.    I am waiting for my daughter to come home.  She left yesterday after the movie to spend the night with a friend.  I am a bit overprotecting of my children.  I always assume the WORSE with happen and it will happen when I can’t be there to protect my children.  In my theory when my child stays over at a friend’s house that if something happened they would protect THEIR kids first then mine.  Needless to say I have ISSUES as I am sure you can tell.  I have sick to my stomach waiting on her to come home.  I know she is growing up and I will have to learn to deal with this more often but till then they will be with their CRAZY mom in the background trying to protect them for unseen forces…..so I hope the “Stay Over” angels are smiling on her and the “you have to let them grow up” angels are smiling on me….till Monday dear readers enjoy your Sunday….

Well it is Saturday again dear readers.  Not to be the messenger with bad news but your weekend is half over.  So is mine but I have to work anyway so it doesn’t really matter.  The thought of a weekend off is a miracle for which I will not reach.  I am just praying for a day off.  I will take ANY day off.  I am not picky dear readers.  So the cheerleaders came and went without too much headache.  So I can’t complain too much about work because dear readers I have to move on to my daughter’s season miracle.  See my twelve year old daughter fell head over heels for Edward Cullen.  For those who don’t know this young man don’t feel bad.  If it wasn’t for my daughter I would have no clue either.  Edward is the young handsome vampire in a little book called “Twilight”.  I believe the author’s name is Stephanie Meyers and she has started a new trend of “Vampires are HOT”.  I unfortunately have a very talkative twelve year old who has sat me down (or got me in the car where there is nowhere for me to go) and told me this guys resume.  The only thing that I can remember other than his name is the he sparkles.  What in God’s name does that mean?  I have no clue.  In my thought most guys who “sparkle” aren’t really into girls but I let her have her fantasy.  So today she got to see him on the big screen.  I was lucky that my mother and mother-in-law wanted to see this movie and I got paroled and didn’t have to spend $6.50 to be tortured.  After my mother gave me and husband the gift of free babysitting while in the movie she also paid for two tickets to another movie.  We watched a movie called “Role Models”.  I freaking LOVED it.  You have to understand that I have a very twisted sense of humor.  I love movies like “Knocked Up” and “Superbad”.  I have watched those movies I know fifty times.  They consist of curse words, sex humor, and drugs.  (For the  record I know it may seems as if I am on drugs or maybe I SHOULD be on drugs but I am not I just find it funny…yes I know not a very good mom thing but I can’t help it)  So Role Models were number one for me.  It will be in my “shouldn’t like it but do anyway” movie collection.  I don’t who wrote it but it was a great mixture of my “Superbad”, “Knocked Up” and Reno 911 cast.  So I really enjoyed it.  The best part was that we didn’t have the kids with us.  So we didn’t get those “Oh my God can you believe that MOTHER let her kids come to this movie” look.  Yes unfortunately I have taken my kids to see movies I really shouldn’t have.  You should be proud I only snuck in three boxes of candy for my kids.  I had planned to sneak in candy, soda, and popcorn but chickened out.  Well not chicken out per say we didn’t have enough purses.  Well dear readers I will end the day on a good note.  My kids are happy and by some twisted logic I am the HERO for letting the kid go see the movie.  I hope the “Twilight” angels smile down on you and the “Can you believe she thinks that is funny” angels smile down on me……

Well it is Friday again dear readers.  I hope your work week is over but for me it is just beginning.  My wee one had a great birthday yesterday.  Tonight she is spending the night with her grandmother all by herself.  This is a special treat because any other time all three of the kids go.  However, today my baby had her little heartbroken.  One of her friends moved away today.  This is a hard lesson for a 7 year old to learn.  She was crying when we picked her up and she was still crying when we dropped her off.  My heart breaks for her.  I hate to see that kind of pain in her little eyes.  I know this is the mother in me but I would gladly take her pain from her if it was within my power.  Heck if I see ANY kid crying I want to hold them and take the pain.  For example at my son’s school yesterday for the holiday lunch a little girl was crying because her father hadn’t made it to the lunch.  I wanted so bad to take her in my arms and let her cry but in today’s time I would be arrested for being a pedophile but I almost risked it.  So to my daughter’s little friend Mary Catherine may the new school angels smile down upon you and the new friend angels smile down on my wee one Jade.  So let’s move of shall we.  We joked last night that I make notes to be sure I rant about in my blog daily.  Well my dear readers I am about to kick my husband in his bad leg.  Yes I know I was whining yesterday about him being sick.  However his insurance came through with his antibiotic and God willing that will solve this medical issue for now.  Here is my complaint.  Every year we have this great debate about the Christmas tree.  I want to put it up NOW.  I don’t want to wait till next weekend.  He doesn’t even have to help and yet he is still being a pain in the butt about it.  So we had a nice little argument over this topic.  He can give me no reason as to why we can’t put it up.  He would only say that “It is bad enough the store’s start early why should we”?  My point of view is it is too much work to have just three weeks.    If I was making him put it up then I can see why he is moaning and groaning.  So I am sitting here stewing over this and I think he has a errand tomorrow and while is gone then I am put the tree up.  Once it is up then if he wants it taken down then HE can take it down.  I know my dear husband and that would just be TOO much effort. (Even if he wasn’t sick).That brings me to my next rant.  Why is Wal-mart being so stubborn on this black Friday sale thing?  I am looking for a certain thing and want to know where I am going to have to see my husband to get it. (Yes I know if he is feeling better)  So anyone who knows a “leak” about Wal-mart remember my email addressJWell my dear readers I hope you have a wonderful weekend planned.  I have a weekend with a bunch of cheerleaders to feed at my motel and a huge deal with my daughter and her friends seeing the new movie Twilight.  I sure hope it is work the ARM and a LEG it is going to cost us.  I told her to grab mom’s HUGE old woman purse and I am buying candy at the gas station.  Can you go to jail over bringing it in the theater?  Oh well it is the kids I am not going so if I get a call from the local police station then I know we can’t do that anymore.  However, in my opinion (you know about my Opinions) THEY should be arrested for charging $7.00 for popcorn.  Ok I will stop my rant for now but be sure I will blog about it tomorrow. So may the weekend angels smile down on you……