raramomtoo3

 Well Merry Christmas Eve to my dearest readers.  I cannot believe how fast this year as come and gone.  So my children are on the edge of reason.  If these children have asked me once “When are we leaving?” they have asked me a million times.  We are heading to my dad’s house tonight.  Then we will come home and they get to open one Christmas Eve present.  I usually buy them pajamas so that on Christmas morning they will look nice.  Unlike the rest of the year when they are a mixed matched.  If I was more
“Martha” I would make them matching pajamas.  I could just see my “emo” daughter wearing matching pajamas with her family.  So I know my limits when it comes to that.  My youngest daughter has told me that she plans to plow through our bedroom door in the morning.  This really isn’t an unusual occurrence around here.  They do it every other day of the year why would Christmas be different.  I keep telling them they will plow through at a wrong time (If you know what I mean) and I wasn’t paying for their therapist bill.  They are all old enough to know how “it” works.  So they are so excited that it makes me excited.  My daughter asked me what I wanted for Christmas.  I looked at her with all the love in my eyes and said “I want to see you smile on Christmas morning and that would be the best present ever”.  She thought about it for a few minutes and she said “What kind of gift is that?”  I replied “the best kind”.  She just looked at like I had lost my mind and said ok.  I think she thinks I have a drug problem or she just looked at me like I had one.  So they are getting jitterier the closer it is time to go.  It is almost funny to watch and makes my “evil” side peek out and snicker that I keep moving the “time to leave” back further and further.  We will however be need to leave soon.  I want to get to Justin’s cemetery before it gets dark so I can take a picture for my mom.  I wish I had a joke or a funny comment to enter here but the truth is I miss my brother so much.  It feels like my heart isn’t whole anymore.  I know he is spending Christmas in Heaven while we are about to try a Mission Impossible last minute trip to Wal-Mart for FREAKING chips.  I do feel him in my heart but it isn’t the same as holding him in a hug.  I have so many regrets when it comes to my brother.  I didn’t hug him enough, didn’t tell him I loved him enough, took our family time for granted, and worried about stupid stuff at the holidays instead of spending time with our loved ones but the worst thing is I didn’t make enough memories with him.  Now know what is the most important thing it isn’t gifts, food, or money it is making memories that you will never forget even after your loved one is gone.  So please have a safe and wonderful Christmas.  I pray the “Christmas” angels smile down on all of us.  Please remember my dear readers make memories this Christmas. 

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