raramomtoo3

Hello dear readers I am sure you have missed my insane ramblings.  My depression has taken its toll this week.  I am a horrible mother.  Instead of keeping the “fantasy” of a vacation to myself I shared it with my children just to have to let them down.  I am horrible.  I really thought the government or my lawyer would come through for me.  Those who don’t know I am trying for my disability.  I have medical and mental health issues.  After 15 years of working I just can’t do it anymore.  I applied last February and was turned down.  Everyone said go to a lawyer…hire a lawyer…this is bull crap. The road to hell is littered with lawyers.  I however listened to everyone and hired a lawyer.  I handed them the fate of my family and they haven’t done crap.  I expected them to harass Social Security and keep on pushing for us but they put us in a file folder and shoved us in a drawer like we weren’t anything.  After months of not hearing from them I called and all they could say was “Well it will take us 18-24 months to get a hearing”.  I have not known ANYONE who has received disability has to go to court.  That was all she said.  She even had the damned nerve to act pissy because I called.  I don’t think these lawyers or government officials think we are real live humans with human needs.  To them we are just a number in a freaking file.  That is why I wanted to take my kids on a very overdue trip with this money.  It isn’t even about that really.  It is the fact I am not able to keep working.  Between my physical health and mental health I am just a broken woman.  So I have decided that I will begin a campaign to start writing emails, letters, and make phone calls to higher government officials.  If I harass the right person then people will see me as human instead of a number.  I ask that you pray for my family.  We are Americans and we deserve better.

Hello my dear readers it is Sunday.   Yes I skipped yesterday.  Like I said I have no chance in hell of getting the 1000 visits so I am not stressing as much as I did.  I have now brought in my children into my vacation fantasy.  I thought it would bring us together on this note.  I want them to have something to look forward to.  Of course this depends on if and when the government realizes what is wrong with me.  Those who know me know what I am talking about.  I just pray they see it soon.  Right now it is extremely important for this to happen.  I pray it happens before summer so we can go on this vacation and enjoy being a family.  We will be with each other for several days.  There will be no email, MySpace, chat rooms, phone calls that last hours.  Just us.  HOLY CRAP this is terrifying maybe I should change my mind….I am just kidding.  This will be the first real trip they have gone on.  I can’t wait for them to see different states.  This trip will be a trip of a lifetime.  Well dear readers there isn’t much else to talk about today.  So I am going to let you off the hook.  Till tomorrow my dear friends enjoy your day and enjoy your family.

Well dear readers it is Friday.  Thank goodness so I can have my baby’s home with me for a couple of days.  OF course the first knock-down drag-out occurs then I will wish it was Monday.  I am home alone left to me on accord.  So the over-whelming need to clean house is driving me crazy.  So I am trying to think about other things.  I am still plotting this vacation in my head.  The wonderful idea of getting way from here for a few days brings me comfort.  The thought of seeing the country with my kids makes me excited for them.  We are poor and don’t get to travel like I wish we could.  That is the crappy thing about being poor.  The family can’t enjoy each other.  I am always working or lately sick or broken and my husband is sick a lot so I am just depressed.  I guess that is why I am planning and thinking about this so much because I NEED to get away from the crap that smothers my life.  I keep my head up or try to but it is getting hard.  I am down and freaking out so I will stop here for today.  Like I said only a handful of you know what I am talking about and there is no reason to bring you loyal readers today.  Till tomorrow my dear friends I pray the “vacation” angels smile down on all those who deserve it and my love to all…….

Happy Thursday my dear readers.  I am lost in my The First 48 marathon.  If you notice me pausing that is why.  It is really sad the amount of murders that are out there to make all these shows.  These shows are different from CSI and Law and Order crap.  These are real people losing their lives over stupid crap.  I really don’t have much to say today.  My back is hurting.  Now how in the hell I hurt my back when I am not even suppose to walk.  I am a genius I swear.  I am the only idiot who can hurt her back doing NOTHING.  Of course I am the idiot who broke her foot on her tippy toes.  I swear I am losing my mind.  I am planning this fantasy vacation.  I would love to take my family on a road trip.  I want us to just travel and show the kids wonderful things.  Of course you have to have money for this but I still am planning it out.  It actually makes me feel better about life to think these thoughts.  I am living in a fantasy world I know.   I just received an email from one of my best friends and she is getting married in May.  This is her first marriage and I am so excited for her.  I know she will be a wonderful wife and a wonderful mommy when her time comes she says not for a couple of years but I bet you she won’t wait.  I need her to hang out with my kids….oh wait…that might make her WAIT longer….LOL….Well dear readers nothing else to write about today….My love to all…..

Hey out there dear readers.  Today is Wednesday and I am still here.  I hope your day is going well.  So here is what is on my mind today.  My oldest daughter will be turning thirteen on her birthday in February.  I think it will be fun to throw her a birthday party.  I am not a good mom in this department.  On their first birthday we had a party but ever since we have just had family get together instead of a big party.  So since this a big age for her the party sounds likes fun.  She will be able to invite people from school and family.  She even gets to invite some boys.  This has her excited so maybe she will keep her act together.  She is in charge of coming up with ideas and I get to veto the bad ones.  She however has asked for a “death” cake.  You know the ones they have for being “over the hill”.  So I might indulge this but if she pisses me off then she will be getting a pink and purple Hannah Montana cake.  I can imagine her friends would enjoy too see her suffer.  I hope this turns out good for her.  I can’t believe my baby is turning 13.  She will be a teenage and this is a VERY SCARY thought.  I hope we are turning to a “better” age for her.  If God loves ME we will anyway.  Anyway I am feeling yucky yet again.  On that note I pray the “teenage” angels are smiling on us and my love to all……

Do you readers know what today is?  It is the day we start the clean up after a major disaster.  If you take all the tornados, hurricanes, and wildfires combine them together and it will not be anywhere NEAR the damage as our Ex-president has done to our country.  As much as I hope that Barack Obama is going to clean up the crap left behind from Bush I have the feeling that even he can’t fix the mess we are in.  It will take at least two more strong Presidents to even try it.  For the last eight years we have seen our country slowly slipping out of our control.  Our gas prices reached an unnecessary highs, our wages slipped to an unacceptable lows, our economy is at an unimaginable level of hell.  This is reason today means so much.  Today my dear readers we now have a glimmer of hope.  Now I have no disillusion that tomorrow the world is right again.  I know it will take a long time.  President Obama is not God or David Copperfield.  He can’t wave a wand and everything is right again.  I feel though he will try as hard as he can.  He is a brave man in my opinion.  It takes a someone with….mmmm Ok I will not type that word but I am sure you get my point.  So I am sure you don’t want to read my thoughts or rants but today my son is home from school and together we lay together in my bed and we watched the world change right before I eyes.  I know he should be in school but I wanted ALL of my children here with me.  For today like I said our country changed and I wanted to hold all my children and bask in the glory of it.  I wasn’t sure we would ever have a black president but I knew we needed one.  I know people assume that because we are from the south that we would be against President Obama.  As a southerner born and breed I am honored that this has taken place so early in my lifetime.  So now I can just imagine the awesome and wonderful things that our country will have not only in my lifetime but my children and grandchildren’s lifetime.  I am keeping my head up and eye on the first woman president and I know we can and will have one day.  I am sure you are tired of the inauguration coverage I just wanted to tell you the thoughts of a 32 year old southern mom to three wonderful and potential future presidents.  On that now I pray not only for our family, the new President, but for our country and its future.  I pray “all” angels are smiling on us all.  I would also say to Ex-President Bush….”Hey Thanks for nothing”.  My love to all and one last statement is a quote from another brave man…”We are free at last, free at last, thank God almighty we are free at last”…

How are you today?  It is Sunday and you should be resting my dear friends.  I am currently a sick puppy.  You would think God has given me enough crap for one person but here I am with a fever and severe headache.  Here is a bit of information on me.  I have a very low normal body temp. I am usually at 96 degree’s so when I have a fever 99 degree’s is high for me.  So I am at nearly 99 degrees.  I have taken my migraine medicine but it isn’t working but I don’t want to use the other pain medicine.  I am watching TV again.  Right now my son and I are watching Paranormal State.  I am not really enjoying it.  They seem kind of fake but as fellow Ghost Hunter I will give them the benefit of the doubt.  I am more of Ghost Hunters fan.  They are awesome.  I watched the Paranormal State because they were talking about The Moth man Prophecies.  This is a subject that has always interested me.  If you haven’t heard about this be sure to Google it my dear friends.  The Moth man has been known to appear just a few days before of a major tragic event.  The place they were covering is Point Pleasant.  This is where the Silver City Bridge collapsed killing several people.  I have always been interested and when I don’t have a huge construction worker with his butt crack showing using a freaking drill inside my freaking head I will be sure to return to this topic.  Since the construction worker is trying for overtime I am going to let you be and you can enjoy your Sunday.  I sure hope the “headache” angels have the butt crack construction worker in their heads too.  My love to all

Here we are my dear friends another Saturday has come and almost gone.  We survived the sleep over however my house wasn’t so lucky.  My daughter and husband are in the process of returning the last girl.  When they arrive back my daughter is going into “CLEANING” mood whether she is ready or not.  So if her dear friends are reading this you should know that if she gives me a “BF” then the next time you will be visiting me and not her.  I don’t have a lot of things to rant about today.  I have been unable to sleep the last few days.  I can only think of two reasons that is different.  One is that since I have been using this Bone Fracture Stimulator my sleep has suffered.  I am not sure if that has anything to do with this but it might.  I also have stopped taking the pain meds from the doctor.  They are not helping and I have decided to stop taking them till I can talk to the doctor about it.  That might also be a reason.  Whichever it is I hope to God that it stops.  I get these hot sweats, my body seems to be jerky, and I can’t sleep or get comfortable.  Needless to say after five days of this crap I am tired and a tad bit cranky.  I have watched some movies since I can’t sleep.  Yesterday I watched My Best’s Friends girl with has Dane Cook and Jason Biggs.  It was a funny movie that I have really enjoyed.  The language is a bit rough and a lot of sex stuff but it is hilarious if you are an adult or you are a teenager who is watching at a friend’s house and NO I DIDN”T LET MY DAUGHTER”S FRIENDS WATCH IT.  That is why I watched it first.  I recommend it if you like a good comedy.  We also watched Mirrors with Keifer Sutherland which was a good horror movie.  It isn’t the best I have seen and I probably wouldn’t watch it again but you should see it at least once if you like a good horror flick.  I have sent my dear husband to Blockbuster for more movies.  I sent him with instructions to get me the new Tyler Perry chick flick but I bet they will conveniently be “out” of that movie but I can guarantee that the new sci-fi or action movie will be in.  I would stay tuned for an update on this note. So till tomorrow I pray the “sleep” angels smile down on me.  My love to all…..

Well here I am again.  It is Friday and I have decided to keep going for awhile.  You just thought you were going to get lucky and not have to read my ramblings.  I might not get paid but it is always good to be able to share my thoughts with others.  It doesn’t matter if they are sad, happy, funny or downright scary.  I also know our family likes to be updated about what happens in our insane household.  Today my oldest daughter is having friends over.  This the first time we are having more than one friend over at a time.  Let’s recap here.  My oldest daughter is 12 going on 13.  So we are expecting 4 more preteens over.  I am glad I have a broken foot.  This way I can say “Oh I am so sorry but my foot is broke but Jasmine’s dad will help you all out.”   See things do work out don’t they.  You will be happy to know I showered today.  I went for three days with no shower.  I haven’t done that since I was a baby and other people had to bath me.  So I am feeling better in that department.  I figured my daughter would appreciate me taking a shower and put on my nice pajamas for when I stumble out of the bedroom with my lipstick on my face like I have been drinking all day with a wine glass in one hand and a cigarette in the other.  I will start talking in the worst drunken redneck voice I can come up with.  Also add in the hair curlers and hair net and my passing gas as I shake the friend’s hand.  This dear friends and family is revenge for the times she has had a hissy fit in Wal-mart (like Wednesday afternoon for example).  The tantrums she has when she “hates” us or when we “embarrass” her.  I am just joking I will stay in my room unless they start bugging the other two kids then I will come out there.  Well I am feeling a little sick of course I just ate like twenty Tootsies Rolls.  On that note I hope the “sleep over” angels smile down on my wee ones today.  My love to all…here’s hoping  a 1,000 people will have nothing better to do that listen to me……..

Hello dear readers.  I hope your Thursday is going better than mine.  Yesterday I received a notice from this site that I don’t have enough readers.  So now I have to have 1,000 readers per blog to make any money.  So I am really depressed.  I don’t even know a 1,000 people much less that many people who have nothing better to do than listen to my crazy rants.  I am not sure if I will continue with the blogs or not.  I enjoy doing them and the money helped out while I am not able to work.  However this has broken my spirit about doing them.  So you are lucky today my dear friends I won’t drag this out today.  I am going to think about it and then go from there.  You might get unlucky and I decided that I am going to continue with them.  I hope the “writing” angels will tell me what I need to do.  My love to all…..