raramomtoo3

OK OK I have received a note that you guys are going through withdrawal symptoms.  You guys are missing my witty ranting and boring stories of my life.  Well I guess people do get addicted to sleeping pills and my rants are as good as any sleeping pill….so here it goes.  I won’t promise I will keep up with it every day but I will try.  So a lot has come and gone since I last ranted.  My NASCAR is off and running but that is about as far as it has gotten.  I am currently watching the race so if a wreck happens I will come back when it is over OK?  I am not sure if I made comments about my baby turning 13.  My baby girl is now a teenager but if you ask all the other family members she was already a teenager in her little mind.  I am very proud of her though.  She is a tough cookie even though that pisses her daddy off.  They have the same personality so they often try to go TOE to TOE but they love each other. (I hope)  We had a real party for her this year.  Most often we just do family but since this was a big birthday we did a party with her friends.  Next time you hear me talk about doing this again PLEASE slap me upside the back of my mommy head.  Have you tried to corral a room full of teenagers…with a broken foot?  Yes this idea sounded good in my “mommy” head but in the “please kill me” head…..well you get my drift.  There were too many loud kids, too much pizza and not enough Valium.  However with the support of family I survived with only a few battle scars.  I do often finding myself jerking uncontrollably and curling up into a fetal position and rock back and forth…chanting…..”Do you want a piece of cake…Do you want a piece of cake…Do you want a piece of cake?”  I will move on for I feel a panic attack approaching.  I started physical therapy Friday for the broken foot.  It went ok I guess.  They make you do these exercises and torture and then after words they attach a shocking machine to your broken body part (I am lucky I didn’t break my pelvic bone).  They put an ice pack on top of the little pads turn up the shock and leave you to rest.  Now I know the thought of this sound like a bad deal but it really doesn’t hurt.  I have to go three times a week.  I also go back the foot doctor in the morning so I will see where we are going.  Also on Friday I got sucker punched into ANOTHER dog.  We needed another dog like we needed another hole in our heads.  I was playing with the idea of buying the kids a four dollar hamster and walked out with a fifty pound black lab.  As we approached Pet Depot’s front door my kids notice a dog in a car parked near the curb.  Of course I am trailing behind with my crutches as I walk up to them I hear a man say “Hey you need a dog?”  CRAP…..I turned away to limp as quick as I could limp in the other direction.  Then came the words I will never forget….”MOM CAN WE HAVE A DOG PLEAAASSEEEEEEEEE?”  I stopped mid limp and froze…hoping that the sidewalk would open up and suck me down to the pits of HELL fore I knew that I was about to have a face to face meeting with those little puppy dog eyes.  No not the damn dog but the eyes of two of my children who pleaded and bargained and promised me things that I knew they would NOT do but I was put on the spot.  I look up into the eyes of my husband hoping that he would “Bad” Cop this time so I could be the “Good” cop only to see the same freaking puppy dog eyes on his face.  Are you FREAKING kidding me?????  This look from the man who thinks we should ditch our family dog because she barks too much.  So here I am….please picture this in your mind….It is a rainy afternoon…I just walked my cripple butt across the parking lot in the RAIN.  I reach the sidewalk and walk right into a FREAKING WALL…..not wall in the sense of a real wall but I walked into a wall of “MOM IS NOT GOING TO WIN”.  So I have three kids (yes one of them is my husband) begging me and the man with the dog is PIMPING this freaking dog to my family and like a hard up “john” my family is taking it hook line and sinker.  The one hope I had was my oldest daughter who is like me in SOME ways got out of the car and I will be damned if SHE wanted the dog too.  What was I too do?  I was out weighed and crippled so I didn’t have the strength to fight them.  So we have a new dog in our home…at least you would think they would let me name him “Snoop Dogg” but NOOOOOOO.  However a miracle occurred today my dear readers.  In Alabama we actually got SNOW…..and I don’t mean a few flurries that happen on a freak day but real on the ground and falling from the sky snow.  Of course it lasted about four hours but we looked and watched as this beautiful event take place.  I have to give the weathermen a high five THIS TIME.  Up till this point every time they say “snow”……we get our hopes up and buy our Milk and Bread (I am not sure why really but here in the south snow drives us to stores and we buy every loaf of bread even the nasty wheat kind if you took more than a hour to get there….along with every gallon of milk even the SoyMilk or Fat Free Watered Milk…again if you don’t care enough to run STRAIGHT to the store and make your purchases like a good southern person then you DESERVE the watered milk and wheat bread) and then NOTHING.  Great big bags of NOTHING would happen and for some reason it is always MY fault according to my children.  As if I went on local newscast with a suit on and I said it was going to snow…..Nope I don’t own a suit and I have never been on a newscast predicting anything much less snow.  From now on if the weathermen have the gall to whisper the word snow then I will be send my children to stay at THEIR house and when NOTHING happens they can complain and moan to them instead of me….. Well I have plenty of things to moan and complain about myself but I will stop and let you move on to other boring things in your life.  I want to sit back and watch my kids NOT feed the dog or NOT walk him oh and my favorite NOT clean up the pee and poop….with any hope all four of them will get up to potty in the middle of the night and step right into a pick pile of…..clothes….what did you think I was going to say??????

PS I wanted to thank God and Justin for our snow….Justin pulled some strings to bring me a brief moment of happiness….I love you and miss you always…..

Dear readers as I started to spell check my rant we received a call that my husband’s granddad passed away.  I know that most of you know this and feel our pain as well as your own.  My husband’s granddad was a wonderful man.  Of course my husband’s family are wonderful but this man is the one who created such a warm and loving family.  Every family must have that person who starts this tradtion and he did it up right.  I loved him as my own grandfather because he never treated me any different than his own grandchildren and I was blessed to cal him Granddad.  Even though his death was a shock we knew he wanted to go “home” a long time ago.  Today he was reunited with the love of his life…she went “home” March 17^th 2008 and he was just sixteen days shy of a year but today they are together again.  He also has good company to keep while he is there.  He has my brother Justin, both of my grandfathers, our grandmothers and many more.  So to Granddad we love you and will miss you but you will be in our hearts forever….

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